By Doubts Not Confounded

By doubts not confounded,

Though by darkness surrounded,

Despairs quenched by hope,

My soul doth cry

Shepherd thou art mine.

Though a beast on a chain

Doth try night and day

To pry me from my Shepherd’s hands

He’ll not succeed. I’m sealed. I’m free.

God’s bond of love shall ne’er be broken.

Full of deceit and fiery darts,

Relentlessly tempting and taunting my heart,

My heel is bruised but I’m unscathed.

Taking the Way of escape,

The Lord is nigh, he holds my soul.

Be sober, be watchful: your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Peter 5:8

The Christian is involved in daily warfare, not only against the Devil, but also against pulls from the flesh and the world. This poem addresses the fight against Satan. Recently in my life, the war was ever the more intense. For the past few months it seemed as though I was at the frontlines of battle. Faced with an onslaught of  cruel taunts and temptations leading to doubts but not to total despair. It does seem to have eased up a bit. Maybe I’m going into a more peaceful season with less intense attack or perhaps the beast has changed the approach of his attacks. He is subtle.  I am watchful.

 When the battle began growing more intense a few months ago, I was near despair. I began to question if I was really God’s. I began to even have doubts about God. I realized I was not using my sword effectively nor was I using my shield effectively (Ephesians 6.)

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:17

I have found that the way of escape is the Lord. Knowing he loves me dearly, and wanting to please him makes it much easier to flee suggestions whispered in my ear. I know that with the “sweetness” of sin comes a deep bitterness in my soul in knowing that I have hurt the one who I love most; the one I love because he first loved me with a boundless unconditional love. I’ve learned to flee to him in prayer, hiding under his wings while brutal blows are thrown my way.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Christ faced temptations and overcame them, through his strength we can do the same.  In hours of great temptation, I have felt the Lord very near and was very aware of this fact. He is the one who furnished our armor, and through his strength we are able to use it.

God helped me through this difficult season by providing verses just when I needed them.  At times, the Holy Spirit brought verses to my mind. He also brought me to certain verses in my readings that helped. I came across Isaiah 43:1-2 as I was flipping through my Bible in search of another passage. Another time, In the midst of my doubts, a verse I hadn’t really noticed before (John 20:7), though I’ve read the passage many times, stood out and really brought me joy as I wondered at the Lord’s resurrection. I love how the Lord speaks to us through the entire Bible and points out certain verses just as we need to hear them. Knowing and studying scripture combats Satan’s suggestions. God’s word is a lamp unto my feet, a light to my path, and a sword in my hand. (Psalm 119:105, Ephesians 6:17)

Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. Isaiah 1:18

God is not the author of confusion, (1 Corinthians 1:14:33) nor does he threaten his people menacingly, rather he leads in love. His word is simple, pure, and true. The gospel message of forgiveness by grace though faith in Christ Jesus is clear (Ephesians 2:28.)  Strange doctrines like legalism, traditions, and superstitions, as well as cold harsh accusations are not things of the Lord. I know that in the times I fall, I am not cast headlong (Psalm 37:24) but forgiven, washed clean by the blood of the Lamb.  

In addition to studying the word of God during this season, I recently read/ am reading three books that were edifying on this topic. I’m hoping to add a part two to this post with a brief summary of what I learned from these books.